How I Moved On From a Heartbreak, Part 1: My Journey With Love

This ispart 1我的5-part serieson how to move on from a relationship.

My Journey With Love


(Published on Mar 8, 2010)

“要知道是否要成为您的东西,请放开它。如果返回,那一直是您的。如果不是这样,那永远不会是。”- Celestine Chua

Today’s entry is going to be my deepest sharing here to date. All along, I have shared many personal stories such as mypast disappointment, mypast emotional stinginess,我如何与十年的最好的朋友分道扬等等。今天,我以某种从未这样做的方式向您开放。我让您进入我的秘密一面,我只向我最亲密的朋友展示。

I’m not sure if you have noticed, but I barely discuss my love life here. It’s a part of me that I have zealously kept safeguarded all this while. Out of my 140 entries so far, I have covered almost every topic but love (save for one entry I wrote in 2009on singlehood).


但是,今天我会与您,锁,库存和枪管共享这一点。事实是,我的爱情旅程并不顺利。五年前有一个我喜欢的人,我称之为G. G.是我真正喜欢的第一个人。但是,事情没有解决,我一生中第一次伤心了。在接下来的几年中,我因这种经历而下意识地阻止了我。在过去的一年中,我终于清理了这个行李,治愈了内心的伤口,并使自己从过去摆脱了。


This unveils the delicate and softer side of me, different from the usual go-getter Celes you see on the blog. But it’s me all the same — a me that has always been there, but you haven’t known about till today. :)

Seeking My Soulmate

从小就一直是一个顽固的浪漫主义者。无论是看节目,戏剧还是玩游戏,我总是最喜欢爱情故事。我很高兴看到角色相遇,彼此相爱,并克服试验和磨难在一起。主要领导将永远有一个特别的人 - 一个为他/她坚持的知己,他的感情坚定不移,并将全部献给他/她所爱的人。他们的爱情故事将永远导致幸福的结局。观看这些展开总是一个美丽的经历。



Knowing G

I think it was during my second year in university, 2004, when I first met G. I was 20 then. We had a couple of classes together and ended up as projectmates in one of them. Many of my first few encounters with him were hazy. What I distinctly recall was I totally did not consider him a potential romantic interest. This was such an irony on hindsight.

Our friendship started like any other. We worked together in projects and met in classes. We occasionally ran into each other on the campus. When we did, we would hang out to chat, getting to know each other in the process. Because of our positive experience working together, we arranged to take more modules together in the next semester.



During the next semester, with three of five modules together, we saw each other more frequently. We would always sit next to each other in class. During class, we would write and pass notes to each other — notes that were sometimes relevant to the class and many times, not. Outside of class, we would meet up for project work. A large portion of our time on campus was spent with each other. When we were out of campus, we would be in contact via email, sms or chat. Our friendship gradually evolved from one of normal friends, to good friends, to very good friends.



To top it off, G would treat me in a special way. He was very sweet to me. He would always be carrying my stuff for me, rain or shine, whether it was my books or my laptop. When I was down and out, he was there with me, listening and supporting in a quiet manner. There were several incidences when I felt frustrated, and he would be patiently hearing me out. I was moved by his patience and kindness. I began to open up to him more and more.

Developing Feelings


G显然是更向我的行为和言语romantic than platonic, and different from how he acted toward other girls too. When we talked, he hinted about liking me, saying things such as how he liked looking at me, how I was “his Celes,” that he felt “jealous” when I mentioned other guys, and the like. Whenever we were together, I could feel his attention was focused on me, to the extent it made me feel weird. He made promises, such as to respond to any communication from me within 24 hours, no matter how busy he was. He said no matter what happened, he would never let me get hurt. And so on.

Because of that, I really thought G liked me. I talked about him with several of my close friends, both girls and guys, and they unanimously agreed. This hypothesis was sealed when a trusted friend between me and G confirmed that.

To be honest, I was really flattered. I thought G was an incredible person. I really felt he was. For him to like me — I didn’t even know what exactly he saw in me. I had never tried to hide myself when I was with him. As a result, he had seen some of my worst sides, some of which I wasn’t exactly proud of. I was boisterous, hot-headed, blunt, inconsiderate, self-centered, critical, and judgmental. He, on the other hand, was kind, caring, smart, capable, calm, composed, charismatic, patient, gentlemanly, sweet — the list could go on and on.

Yet at the same time, I felt we were very compatible. While I was the Type A, fiery and go-getter girl, he was the calm and cool-headed dude who balanced me out. We were both driven and competent in our own rights, always setting goals and achieving them. We were both accomplished individuals, be it in academics or otherwise. In university, we were迪恩·莱斯特(Dean Listers),积极参与学校间比赛/活动,经常被邀请参加顶级学生的独家活动,并将我们的期货与顶级公司密封。He was pretty much what I was looking for — in many ways, more.

I thought I had finally found my灵魂伴侣and began to fall for him. I thought I could finally start my love story. Little did I know that I was in for a heartbreak later on.

继续进行Part 2: Heartbreak and Sadness

This ispart 1我的5-part serieson how to move on from a relationship.